About the Author
Aka Squall
Aka 残·羽
19yo
NTU Bioengineering
NTU Bridge Club
Likes:
Slacking
Singing
Stoning
Sleeping
Anime/manga
Bridging
Taking photos
Archives
February 2010
Places to Go
People to See
Messages
Credits
Take a look at this & other blog designs @ Blogskins.com
Picture found @ Digital Blasphemy
Monday, February 8, 2010
Well, its been 5 months since i post something here...
Suddenly feel like posting again so well. Here I am.
A lot had happened, some in my way, and some against my way. And somehow, the feeling of loneliness in school is increasing. The feeling of loneliness in life is also increasing.
And, I am dwelling over the past. Wonder if she still read this blog since it has been so dead for 5 months already. Somehow, deeply in my heart, I still want to see her smiles; I still want her company even though it is only possible by phone; I still wish to feel my phone vibrating because of incoming messages from her. I miss all the time that we've spent together, even though those time that we had spent together were really little. I miss those hugs. I miss those random chatter over the phone. I miss all those "miss" call.
I may have hurt her once, because at that time I thought I should move on in my life thinking that me and her haven't really started, but somehow after that I just can't get over it, even until now.
Even though I am slow in realizing this, but this is my conclusion: I am in love with her.
** 18 days to 1 year and 7 months. I am really sorry for leaving you for almost 8 months, but this 8 months really tells me that how important you are to me, and this 8 months teaches me what is the difference between "like" and "love". Sorry for hurting you back then and probably make you feel lonely... But I think all these sorries are not going to be of any value to compensate how much i have hurt you back then... you may say that there is nothing to say sorry about since we nvr really started, but somehow deep in my heart I just feel that it is my fault to start with. No matter whether u are going to forgive me (or u may say there is nothing to forgive at first), you will still be the one that I love. I don't need you to to give me a reply immediately. I just wish that we could continue like before, feel free to talk to me and rant to me whenever u want. Even though of course I believe that it wont be as frequent since both of us are busier already. This time round, I am not going to run away from my feelings anymore after running away for 1 year already. I think it is unlikely to tell you this face to face, thus I am posting it here (since not a lot of people read it), and it may be a but sudden and surprising, but, I love you. **
Suddenly feel like posting again so well. Here I am.
A lot had happened, some in my way, and some against my way. And somehow, the feeling of loneliness in school is increasing. The feeling of loneliness in life is also increasing.
And, I am dwelling over the past. Wonder if she still read this blog since it has been so dead for 5 months already. Somehow, deeply in my heart, I still want to see her smiles; I still want her company even though it is only possible by phone; I still wish to feel my phone vibrating because of incoming messages from her. I miss all the time that we've spent together, even though those time that we had spent together were really little. I miss those hugs. I miss those random chatter over the phone. I miss all those "miss" call.
I may have hurt her once, because at that time I thought I should move on in my life thinking that me and her haven't really started, but somehow after that I just can't get over it, even until now.
Even though I am slow in realizing this, but this is my conclusion: I am in love with her.
** 18 days to 1 year and 7 months. I am really sorry for leaving you for almost 8 months, but this 8 months really tells me that how important you are to me, and this 8 months teaches me what is the difference between "like" and "love". Sorry for hurting you back then and probably make you feel lonely... But I think all these sorries are not going to be of any value to compensate how much i have hurt you back then... you may say that there is nothing to say sorry about since we nvr really started, but somehow deep in my heart I just feel that it is my fault to start with. No matter whether u are going to forgive me (or u may say there is nothing to forgive at first), you will still be the one that I love. I don't need you to to give me a reply immediately. I just wish that we could continue like before, feel free to talk to me and rant to me whenever u want. Even though of course I believe that it wont be as frequent since both of us are busier already. This time round, I am not going to run away from my feelings anymore after running away for 1 year already. I think it is unlikely to tell you this face to face, thus I am posting it here (since not a lot of people read it), and it may be a but sudden and surprising, but, I love you. **
残·羽 ~ 4:11 AM
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Almost half of the recess week gone.
Slept for >10 hours per day, ended 6 anime of mine. o.o (Pandora Hearts, Princess Lover, Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya S1,2, Kanokon, Shugo Chara)
Only catch up physics until chapter 8. And I still got my Effective comm stuff to do.
Why am I wasting so much time >.< dies. Must go library again today. lol.
* * *
10 Anime songs to recommend xD
1) God knows - Aya Hirano - Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (Insert song)
2) Lost my Music - Aya Hirano - Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (Insert song)
3) Heartful Song - Nana Mizuki - Shugo Chara (Insert song)
4) S.S.D - Yozuca - Princess Lover (Ending Theme)
5) Co.No.Mi.Chi - Buono! - Shugo Chara Doki (Ending Theme)
6) Phosphor - Ui Miyazaki - Kanokon (Opening Theme)
7) Koi no Honoo - Yui Sakakibara - Kanokon (Ending Theme)
8) Ana - Clannad OST (Insert song)
9) Toki wo Kizamu Uta - Lia - Clannad After Story (Opening Theme)
10) Megumeru (Cuckool Mix 2007) - Eufonius - Clannad (Opening Theme)
* * *
I think i really wasted too much time on anime sia :X
Slept for >10 hours per day, ended 6 anime of mine. o.o (Pandora Hearts, Princess Lover, Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya S1,2, Kanokon, Shugo Chara)
Only catch up physics until chapter 8. And I still got my Effective comm stuff to do.
Why am I wasting so much time >.< dies. Must go library again today. lol.
* * *
10 Anime songs to recommend xD
1) God knows - Aya Hirano - Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (Insert song)
2) Lost my Music - Aya Hirano - Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (Insert song)
3) Heartful Song - Nana Mizuki - Shugo Chara (Insert song)
4) S.S.D - Yozuca - Princess Lover (Ending Theme)
5) Co.No.Mi.Chi - Buono! - Shugo Chara Doki (Ending Theme)
6) Phosphor - Ui Miyazaki - Kanokon (Opening Theme)
7) Koi no Honoo - Yui Sakakibara - Kanokon (Ending Theme)
8) Ana - Clannad OST (Insert song)
9) Toki wo Kizamu Uta - Lia - Clannad After Story (Opening Theme)
10) Megumeru (Cuckool Mix 2007) - Eufonius - Clannad (Opening Theme)
* * *
I think i really wasted too much time on anime sia :X
残·羽 ~ 10:49 AM
Monday, September 28, 2009
找到了睡不着时最喜欢去的地方。
ADM的星空，真的很不错。
如果星星再多一点，就更美妙了^^
* * *
Found the best place to be in when I am unable to fall asleep.
The sky above ADM is really nice.
If only there are more stars... It would be even better =)
ADM的星空，真的很不错。
如果星星再多一点，就更美妙了^^
* * *
Found the best place to be in when I am unable to fall asleep.
The sky above ADM is really nice.
If only there are more stars... It would be even better =)
残·羽 ~ 5:34 AM
泪只有被子和枕头知道，他们的哭声没有人听见。
处女座那么难那么难爱上一个人，也那么难那么难忘记一个人；
处女座似乎是天生的悲观主义者； 因为理性的完美主义而瞻前顾后；
处女座总是低头默默地自卑，却永远没有害人的勇气。
可惜我是处女座，天生悲观；
可惜我是处女座，过于完美；
可惜我是处女座，太过理性；
可惜我是处女座，生性敏感。
我是高傲优雅的处女座。矜持着不让你看到我对你的任何情感却任由爱你的心泛滥成灾将我吞噬。
我是爱耍孤僻的处女座。喜欢在热闹的人群中不合时宜的呆坐在角落远远的欣赏别人的快乐。
我是表里不一的处女座。明明心痛得已经在滴血却硬是撑起无所谓的笑脸。
我是处女座，
前一秒还是阳光灿烂，下一秒就阴云密布。
我是处女座，
从不开口说我想要，只会在暗中下定决心。
我是处女座，
眼神表达出的情感远远多于你从我口中听到的；当我说没事的时候却渴望一个温暖的胸怀。
我是处女座，
当我决定爱你的时候我就只能爱你一个，我的心很小只能装下一个人。
我是处女座，
对于你，我的心很大，你的一举一动一颦一笑一抬眼一皱眉我都会好好记得。
因为我是处女座，
所以逆来顺受，所有的指责宁愿保持沉默。
因为我是处女座，
所以我其实不想伤害谁，却又伤害了太多人的冷漠。
因为我是处女座，
所以心里有再多的苦涩也不愿多说。
因为我是处女座，
喜欢用外表的冷漠，掩盖内心的火热。
因为我是处女座，
所以习惯了喧嚣中享受孤独的快乐。
因为我是处女座，
所以只会在一个人的时候偷偷让眼泪滑落。
因为我是处女座，
所以在某个夜晚总是会想起了什么而辗转反侧。
因为我是处女座，
所以即使付出再多也不想计较你给予了我些什么。
因为我是处女座，
所以请不要埋怨我忽冷忽热，那样只是想给你一个完美的我。
因为我是处女座，
所以只想尽力做好所有的，让你有更好的生活。
因为我是处女座，
所以即使不够自信，我也可以坚强的面对生命里所有的挫折。
因为我是处女座，
没有安全感的处女座。
因为我是处女座，
自尊心很强，通常自己做错事就会很自责，但绝对不允许别人疾言厉色的指责，因为我知道自己的错，一个本身就很自责的人，哪经得起那样的指责。
因为我是处女座，
总是为别人着想，却总遭受冷落，不想伤害别人，却被别人伤的遍体鳞伤。
因为我是处女座，
别以为我不说话，其实无声的关怀怎么会有人懂。
因为我是处女座，
所以孤独的活着。
* * *
这说的不根本就是我吗……
处女座那么难那么难爱上一个人，也那么难那么难忘记一个人；
处女座似乎是天生的悲观主义者； 因为理性的完美主义而瞻前顾后；
处女座总是低头默默地自卑，却永远没有害人的勇气。
可惜我是处女座，天生悲观；
可惜我是处女座，过于完美；
可惜我是处女座，太过理性；
可惜我是处女座，生性敏感。
我是高傲优雅的处女座。矜持着不让你看到我对你的任何情感却任由爱你的心泛滥成灾将我吞噬。
我是爱耍孤僻的处女座。喜欢在热闹的人群中不合时宜的呆坐在角落远远的欣赏别人的快乐。
我是表里不一的处女座。明明心痛得已经在滴血却硬是撑起无所谓的笑脸。
我是处女座，
前一秒还是阳光灿烂，下一秒就阴云密布。
我是处女座，
从不开口说我想要，只会在暗中下定决心。
我是处女座，
眼神表达出的情感远远多于你从我口中听到的；当我说没事的时候却渴望一个温暖的胸怀。
我是处女座，
当我决定爱你的时候我就只能爱你一个，我的心很小只能装下一个人。
我是处女座，
对于你，我的心很大，你的一举一动一颦一笑一抬眼一皱眉我都会好好记得。
因为我是处女座，
所以逆来顺受，所有的指责宁愿保持沉默。
因为我是处女座，
所以我其实不想伤害谁，却又伤害了太多人的冷漠。
因为我是处女座，
所以心里有再多的苦涩也不愿多说。
因为我是处女座，
喜欢用外表的冷漠，掩盖内心的火热。
因为我是处女座，
所以习惯了喧嚣中享受孤独的快乐。
因为我是处女座，
所以只会在一个人的时候偷偷让眼泪滑落。
因为我是处女座，
所以在某个夜晚总是会想起了什么而辗转反侧。
因为我是处女座，
所以即使付出再多也不想计较你给予了我些什么。
因为我是处女座，
所以请不要埋怨我忽冷忽热，那样只是想给你一个完美的我。
因为我是处女座，
所以只想尽力做好所有的，让你有更好的生活。
因为我是处女座，
所以即使不够自信，我也可以坚强的面对生命里所有的挫折。
因为我是处女座，
没有安全感的处女座。
因为我是处女座，
自尊心很强，通常自己做错事就会很自责，但绝对不允许别人疾言厉色的指责，因为我知道自己的错，一个本身就很自责的人，哪经得起那样的指责。
因为我是处女座，
总是为别人着想，却总遭受冷落，不想伤害别人，却被别人伤的遍体鳞伤。
因为我是处女座，
别以为我不说话，其实无声的关怀怎么会有人懂。
因为我是处女座，
所以孤独的活着。
* * *
这说的不根本就是我吗……
残·羽 ~ 3:38 AM
Sunday, September 27, 2009
If you don't get accepted by anyone, does that mean that there is no significance for you to live on? -- Pandora Hearts, EP25
残·羽 ~ 5:10 PM
Hi hi all... =)
Well. Changed skin, deleted all previous posts (thanks to all the people who had been reading it for the whole last 2 years), and going to restart everything now... Update frequency will be low, Uni is busy after all. And some of the post will be in Chinese, hope you do not mind =)
* * *
大学生涯进入第八个星期
(也是学期中一星期的假期，aka recess week)
生活有些改善吧
交了些修读同科系/同课外活动的新朋友
也认识了对我真的很好很好的zeh^^
不过这也使得我产生了一种恐惧感
毕竟我不想再回到以前我在中学/初级学院时的生活……
生日也过了好几个星期了……
从来都没有朋友帮我庆祝生日的说
今年却有两组人帮我庆祝了生日
真的让我很感动……
在此我想再一次谢谢所有帮我庆祝生日的朋友们
大学生活真的很忙
看我周围的同学好像都在struggle
只有我看起来好像很轻松……
也许这就是从HC来的一个优势吧
不过，我还是有很多东西要读
尤其是物理……快晕了
打算天天camp LWN读物理了
不管怎样
我还是会好好加油的
就此打住吧
Well. Changed skin, deleted all previous posts (thanks to all the people who had been reading it for the whole last 2 years), and going to restart everything now... Update frequency will be low, Uni is busy after all. And some of the post will be in Chinese, hope you do not mind =)
* * *
大学生涯进入第八个星期
(也是学期中一星期的假期，aka recess week)
生活有些改善吧
交了些修读同科系/同课外活动的新朋友
也认识了对我真的很好很好的zeh^^
不过这也使得我产生了一种恐惧感
毕竟我不想再回到以前我在中学/初级学院时的生活……
生日也过了好几个星期了……
从来都没有朋友帮我庆祝生日的说
今年却有两组人帮我庆祝了生日
真的让我很感动……
在此我想再一次谢谢所有帮我庆祝生日的朋友们
大学生活真的很忙
看我周围的同学好像都在struggle
只有我看起来好像很轻松……
也许这就是从HC来的一个优势吧
不过，我还是有很多东西要读
尤其是物理……快晕了
打算天天camp LWN读物理了
不管怎样
我还是会好好加油的
就此打住吧
期待着下个星期三的来临
残·羽 ~ 2:48 AM